Achieve Breakthroughs in Life & Business with Andrea Ivanka's Rapid Core Transformation
===
Andrea Ivanka: [00:00:00] when you grow yourself, you grow your business.
Andrea Ivanka: There is no getting away from it. There just isn't. And if you can do it consistently. Set aside one day every quarter that is for you for growing yourself. It's not then going to be okay. Once every five years, I go walk on hot coals or break a board or whatever. I'm like, I'm going to wait for the breakdown in order to have the breakthrough or go have some really cool experience.
Andrea Ivanka: Like, no, you're going to consistently keep growing yourself
Claire: Hello everyone. And welcome to another week with the small town entrepreneur podcast. I'm your host, Claire [00:01:00] Bouvier. And today we have a very exciting guest brought to us on the show. Andrea Ivanka. I'm feeling excited to have this conversation. Those of you that are listening, stay with us because I promise you, you will leave this episode, whether you're driving in your car, you're sitting, having a quiet morning with your coffee, you're going to leave. Feeling so energized and leaving with an actionable tip that's going to help you know that you've been productive and how to stay focused in today's world of all the noises.
Claire: So let's jump in and welcome Andrea, first of all, before we get into the deep parts of this episode and really looking at how people can implement these strategies that you help, well, Thousands of entrepreneurs and individuals around the world.
Claire: What made you come into the world of business coaching? What was the journey to get here? [00:02:00] This
Andrea Ivanka: was such an interesting story because I had a background in education, curriculum development, training. So, I was helping co run the sailing meetup groups the year that I was living in the UK. This is like 2008, so we're going back a little bit.
Andrea Ivanka: And I'm co running these sailing meetup groups, having a great time, and I'm noticing that I need to take a day off. From my regular job to go on these sailing meetups. And one of the guys says to me, like, you're so good at this. You're good at getting people out of their comfort zone. Like you're good at planning the whole experience.
Andrea Ivanka: Have you ever thought of coaching? I was like, what in the world is coaching? I had zero contacts because my background at that point for over 10 years at that point was in education, training, curriculum development, all of those things. Turns out he ran one of the biggest coaching schools in London that certified [00:03:00] and trained coaches.
Andrea Ivanka: So, at the time I had no context. I was like, what the heck is a coach? You know, I was thinking like football, soccer, basketball, sports, that was my context. And he's like, no, there's this whole industry of coaching where. There's different kinds and in different industries and essentially you're helping people move through things and make better decisions.
Andrea Ivanka: And I think you'd be really good at it. So the seed got planted there. And then a few months later, I had a contract fall through while I was working overseas in China. And so I came back to Canada and I'm thinking, well, what am I going to do now? I thought my life was going to be this way for the next 3 years.
Andrea Ivanka: And now I'm back here and because of that seed that got planted, I thought, why don't I look into this? And so I did went and got certified out the nose for the 2 years after that, like certification after certification and then like most crazy entrepreneurs. In the meantime, I had found a job, decided to leave my full time job and [00:04:00] just jump straight into entrepreneurship because I'd taken all these courses and I didn't know the first thing about marketing or branding or getting your first client.
Andrea Ivanka: I was one of those crazy people. So that's how I got into coaching.
Claire: This is such a good story for the reason alone is that the power of one individual, essentially giving feedback on a strength and it turning your whole world around, Sometimes it's easy, depending on where our mental space is or where, you know, where we are sitting in life, we can easily brush a comment like that off but it doesn't go away because it's always in the back burner and this presented itself.
Claire: So I really love these stories because I believe when someone gives you a compliment on the outside that there's nothing in it for them other than. To see you shine is a huge compliment to what you're meant to do. So I love that because [00:05:00] I believe that that's where a lot of people can find their true calling.
Claire: It's just asking people how they see themselves. So that is amazing. as we can see, and if you Google this woman, you will see thousands of testimonials and people absolutely love working with you. And something that is extremely part of your coaching more importantly is this transformative experience that people get.
Claire: And you've. impact both their life and their business life. What can you share with us that is part of that transformative experience for the client?
Andrea Ivanka: That's a good question. It ties back into, if I may, for a second, what I first learned when I started coaching. All of these different trainings I did, solution focused coaching, neurolinguistic programming, hypnosis, all of these different things.
Andrea Ivanka: And when I started working with people, I noticed that some things worked really well with certain people, and other things [00:06:00] didn't work as well. And I was like, well, I'm a curious kind of person. I'm kind of nerdy, actually. I really like to figure out how do things work, like, you know, how to make things stick.
Andrea Ivanka: Right. You're
Claire: an educator.
Andrea Ivanka: And so I started to look at why were certain things working when it had nothing to do with how smart somebody was or how committed or how driven and, Some of the things that I had learned that, oh, somebody's just in, in resistance or they're not committed enough.
Andrea Ivanka: It didn't make sense because here are people who are investing in growing themselves. They want results. Doesn't make sense to me that anybody wakes up in the morning and goes, I'm going to self sabotage myself today. What a great idea. Like, yeah, I mean,
Claire: we do it unintentionally,
Andrea Ivanka: correct. Right.
Andrea Ivanka: Unintentionally. Then there's a keyword there. So I started to get a lot more interested in what were we learning from neuroscience in terms of behavior, emotional intelligence, even aspects from things like [00:07:00] forgiveness work and spirituality. And I started to see that there were a lot of really great modalities out there.
Andrea Ivanka: But nobody had really, at least until then, taken them and started to go, how can we take these things that are being applied in healing frameworks or transformational frameworks and apply them in a context that makes sense for entrepreneurs. It's like people would go to a really great event, they would feel really good inside and then they'd go back into their business.
Andrea Ivanka: And go, well, I just had this really great experience, but now how do I transform this here? So when I look at a transformational experience, the way I look at it with my clients is because I'm working with entrepreneurs is it's still got to be tied into their business goals. So if we're working on them as a person, how do they make decisions?
Andrea Ivanka: How do we shift certain beliefs, certain patterns, all of these kinds of things, it's got to be Integrated, because otherwise it's like you've got two separate things going on and then people start to feel like there's something wrong with them. There's not. It's just too neat to be integrated. Does that make sense?
Claire: It really [00:08:00] does. And I think that is why we find coaches in not just sports, but in anything is that they match the temperament of whether it's the student, the learner, the athlete, right? Is that people recommend someone based on me like you would work well with this person is because, but you is interesting.
Claire: And this is a thing. Do you ever remember a scenario where you. Brought the same approach to one client that worked well and tried the same approach on another client. And is that where the frustration happened being like, why isn't this? And could you give an example if it's like anecdotal even?
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah, for sure. So this was what got me really interested of like, how could I weave pieces together? So I had one client years ago when I had just originally learned a lot of these things from coaching certifications and stuff on how to shift. The kind of languaging I would have learned back then was like how to shift limb and [00:09:00] belief stuff like this, right?
Andrea Ivanka: And so I had this one client that no matter what, like money would just run through her hands. It would come in and it would come right back out again. Now, most people go, well, that's normal as an entrepreneur, you know, you're growing, you're scaling, you know, money comes in, money comes out, not a big deal.
Andrea Ivanka: And she was like, no, Andrea, I get that I have to invest in things to grow my business. But no matter what, I can't hold on to it. So I was like, I wonder what is going on here? So, I tried just doing this approach that I had learned on how to run breakthroughs, things like this with her, you know, release the limiting belief around money and stuff.
Andrea Ivanka: And Nothing. It was like a week later, two weeks later. She's still waiting for the win. This is where I got curious, right? Yes. She was highly motivated, really wanted to shift things. So I was like, okay, something is not making sense [00:10:00] here. I've learned that this is supposed to be the technique. It's supposed to shift everybody up their core, but something is not clicking here.
Andrea Ivanka: So I was like, okay, you know what? I had very, very good clients who are very curious souls with me. And I said to her, I've learned a few things. In neuroscience, how certain memories are stored with emotions and things, by the way, sidebar, Inside Out and Inside Out, two great movies for how this mechanism works inside of us.
Andrea Ivanka: Like amazing movies. It's on my uh, list. This is good. I needed to hear that. Okay. So good. So good. Whoever came up with those storylines of how beliefs are created because they're connected to moments and emotions. So good. So anyways, I said to her, I want to try something because I think bypassing the emotion, the way this technique I had been taught.
Andrea Ivanka: It's not working because you have all of this emotion tied up around money, around people with money. I suspect something is going on in there and that's why this isn't [00:11:00] working. There's just, it's so emotional. And if you or anybody listening is watching this, you'll know there are certain things that have happened in your life that when you think about them, they still bring up the exact same emotions you had when they first happened.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah. I can name a couple. Yeah. Right. Thanks. Yeah, time didn't heal them. So if time didn't heal them, it means there's something unresolved in there. And so I was like, okay, maybe if there's unresolved emotions, that's what's keeping the pattern locked in. So how do you resolve emotions? We tried a few things with her, and this is where the beginnings of Rapid Court Transformation started to weave themselves out of identifying what were the emotions connected with money, who were they connected to, who did she need to forgive.
Andrea Ivanka: Turns out she had this belief because of her family history, and she has given me permission many times to share this story, it's one that I use a fair bit. Her dad had a lot of money, and the parents had divorced when she was a kid, so in her kid brain, if you had [00:12:00] money, in her words, like you were a big jerk, a big a hole.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah. Well, the motions were still connected to all the stuff that had happened to her as a kid.
Andrea Ivanka: Once we got her to acknowledge the emotions, then she could actually get a different perspective on the whole thing that her adult logical self could look at. What did she want to believe with money? Right? Did some weaving of different processes in there now like some forgiveness work and what did she want to believe around money and all this stuff?
Andrea Ivanka: No joke. I still have this voicemail within 24 hours. She closed a 10k sale. 24 hours. It was insane. And here's why I say it's not so much about everybody gets hung up and like, Oh my God, 10k. This is going to make me make 10k. No, And here's why. If you look, you know those horse blinders that kind of go like this? They need to. This opportunity, this opportunity that she had, had been here for months.
Claire: Yeah.
Andrea Ivanka: As soon as we removed them, it was like, Oh my God, there's this person that's been reaching out to work with me for [00:13:00] months.
Andrea Ivanka: But while she had, if you have money, you're an asshole and you're a jerk. Even though this opportunity was like right here in her world. No matter how she looked, she couldn't see it. Literally. We removed the belief systems, cleared up the emotions, did all of that transformational work. And now it's like, literally, if you imagine having you, you are wearing glasses, I have contacts, right?
Andrea Ivanka: Like now you have the right prescription. Right? Yes. So this opportunity had been in her world for months, but she literally couldn't see it while she had this filter. We changed the filter. The opportunity was there. It had been there. It's not like it magically appeared. It's just her experience of herself and her own world shifted.
Andrea Ivanka: Now all of a sudden I was like, I can do this and I still have that voicemail saved. We played it in a lot of our trainings because you can just hear this excitement of like, it's 24 hours. I just made 10, 000. Like, it's so crazy. So that's what's [00:14:00] possible when you shift up. So I know that was a long story to answer, like the, when something didn't work.
Andrea Ivanka: I was so invested into that story. And I know our listeners,
Claire: if this will, like, it's so funny because I think whether it's there, you know, coming from a rich family or a poor family, it doesn't matter. Those emotions. Will impact whether holding on to money. And it's so funny because I don't think that story is that unusual for a lot of people.
Claire: and we think of coaching, we don't realize like really why people become successful is because, imagine how many filters we are walking around in life, not recognizing that it's so subtle. And we can blame other things. So I think if you can't call that transformative, what would you? That was awesome.
Claire: DIY website that's just duct taped together with different plugins isn't a business. It's a desperate, clunky hobby. [00:15:00] Customers can smell it a mile away. Shopify costs money, but it makes you more. I used it for my product based business and the service was exceptional. It's the foundation for a real business.
Claire: It's beautiful, easy to use, and designed to sell. And for just one dollar. For this month, you can try it out and see if it works for you. Click the show notes or go to clairebouvier. com slash tools.
So defining success is something I wanted to learn.
Claire: And now that I'm, I almost can't anticipate that success is going to be so different for each client. So the success. I want it. Like, how do you set up, how do they know what their success is though?
Andrea Ivanka: I love this because it is so personal, right? My version of success is not going to be your version of success is not going to be Julia's version of success.
Andrea Ivanka: It's [00:16:00] not going to be my partner's version of success. So really what my version of success is. It's irrelevant to my clients. It's irrelevant. It's what is theirs. So whether I'm working with clients one on one, whether they're coming into the growth zone, which is my group program, where we do the same transformational work, but together.
Andrea Ivanka: What's it
Claire: called? Sorry. Growth zone. The
Andrea Ivanka: growth zone. Right. Sign me up. Sign me up. It's like the best thing, seriously. What we do at the beginning is we define what does success look like, like if they have a specific goal, let's say, because I am working with entrepreneurs, sometimes it's about visibility.
Andrea Ivanka: Sometimes it's a sales goal. Sometimes it's around offloading certain things to their team so that they can free up their time, right? We're defining what the goal itself is. That's the tangible. That's pretty standard for most coaching. Okay, that is pretty standard. Then where I take it a little bit differently is I look and we go with the clients together of [00:17:00] why isn't it happening now?
Andrea Ivanka: What's getting in the way? Again, that's pretty standard, but the layer that I bring in is what are the thoughts that you've got going on your head that are telling you why this is not possible? What are the beliefs? What are the emotions you feel? Where are you holding it in your body? And what we do is we do a little checking at the beginning.
Andrea Ivanka: I'm going to nerd out here for a second because this is really cool, is
Claire: We got a good audience for this nerdy out stuff, you know, if they're enjoying this pod, we love all interesting facts.
Andrea Ivanka: good. So what I like to do with people is go, okay, let's say that client that had that belief, like, you know, if you have, if you're rich, you're, you're a jerk, right?
Andrea Ivanka: On a scale of 0 to 10, how true is that? On a scale of 0 to 10. So for her, it might be a 10 I've had clients when they really have some stuff that is a strong filter, they might go, that's like 50 out of 10. I'm like, okay.
Claire: Yeah. So this is [00:18:00] a moment to focus on.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah. Yeah. Right. We, we never argue with people what's going on inside of them.
Andrea Ivanka: So we take a look at the before and then when we do the transformational work, then we go, what's the charge after. And then there's an integration period so that whenever it was that they said they wanted to work on. Yeah. Now, it's being supported by the work that we did internally and the work that they're doing externally in the real life.
Andrea Ivanka: So, if we look at how do you define success, I'm like, okay, there's the practical tangible, there's the internal transformational piece that needs to happen, and then there's the integration in your real life inside of your business. We bring all of those three together with whatever you said your criteria was.
Andrea Ivanka: Either you're going to knock it out of the park, or you're going to make incredible progress. That you probably wouldn't have done the same way if you didn't bring those 3 pieces of awareness, transformation and integration together. So that's the way I look at
Claire: it. and what you just said [00:19:00] about.
Claire: This is something really cool because in cognitive behavioral therapy, I talk a lot about on the pod after 10 years, again, my therapist has let me openly talk about it, but it's all about that. What are the facts, right? Like, what are the facts? And I think that as human beings, we get caught up with the emotion.
Claire: And when you said inside out, it's true. You can't do the outside work and the outside world work unless internally the inside is, you know, right. There's some equilibriums and understanding that. And I think it's cool. It's like, we do get so muddled up with, if you ask these questions, everyone's going to have a different scale rating on everything.
Claire: That's right. Yeah.
Andrea Ivanka: What I like about it is with these scale ratings too, is. It's not somebody else from the outside in looking and going, Hey, Claire, I think for you on a scale of 0 to 10, this is a really big problem. I think we're going to rate this a 10 out of 10. Right? It's, but that's what a lot of [00:20:00] coaches
Claire: do do though, because I know.
Claire: And this is where it's really nice to pull back the curtain on coaches like you is that when you're finding a good coach, speaks volumes. And I love this because for someone like you, you came from such place of education where to. Be an educator as a vocation, right? You you're like behind the scenes to raise the student up well in the coaching world.
Claire: And the reality is I'm saying what people think, but I think sometimes coaches are, you know, the idea that they're putting on, and this is speaking for only some coaches, but they're putting on the pressures of something that they think is successful. And as a result, And I'm guilty of that.
Claire: Maybe. And that's where I think I've struggled in the past coaching too, is because you're like, I'm so adverse to, or see it so differently that it is very difficult to be a really good coach. And obviously by you speaking and hearing that, I mean, it's, [00:21:00] amazing that you have the ability. To look at from their perspective and identify it and to hit those transformations.
Claire: And it's really cool because I think a lot of time people sign up for business coaching, but like you said, they need something first, the internal work for it to impact their business work.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah,
Andrea Ivanka: And sometimes people need a business strategist. I can do profit and loss statements, look at those, you know, with your bookkeeper, your accountant, it's not my happy place.
Andrea Ivanka: Right. And I think to your point about coaches imposing things, I think part of why that's happened is coach, mentor, teacher strategist, consultants, like all of the terms have kind of collapsed into one under the coaching umbrella, and they are not all the same things. So if you want somebody who is.
Andrea Ivanka: And that's really where the word coaching came from, whether first athletics or even different kinds of coaching certification programs, like the role of the [00:22:00] coaches to ask you really good questions to help you figure out the answers. Now, if you look at what most people are looking at when they come into business coaching.
Andrea Ivanka: That's not actually what they're looking for. They are looking for a business strategist quite often who is going to say, you know what, here's the gap in your process. Here's what you need to do. And here's how I would recommend doing it. Or here's how my company can help you implement it. And because all of that's gotten collapsed together.
Andrea Ivanka: People are frustrated when they're investing in things they don't know what to ask of people before they invest in it or they think they've invested in one thing then they've gotten something else and then they're frustrated. So I think part of this is empowering people to be clear on what is it that they're looking for.
Andrea Ivanka: Ask that of the coach, if the coach is not willing to answer the questions or is kind of dodgy or is not willing to give you testimonials or an introduction or a referral, like, pay attention to that. Most good ones will because Good coaches, they know we are not a [00:23:00] good fit for everybody for everything under the sun.
Claire: And I think that's it's with anything with, if you want a good accountant, you want to, you know, you want a good person to help you run a certain part of your business. It is so important to ask those questions so that when. You're working with them. You, you did, you did the homework. You have those questions asked.
Claire: I remember I was told to, you know, ask my, if my financial goals are this, we'll make sure you have a financial advisor that has that, that has built that, because I think that's a big part of is asking, but people are afraid. And that's where I, we look at today. People are so sick of hearing the word pandemic, but it was transformational in the world for the way people work, the people we think, it put a pause on our lives in different ways.
Claire: And I think it's a systematically has shifted a lot. Paradigm shifts in the way we think and, and just how we operate as. [00:24:00] Communities and whatnot. From your perspective with your clients, have you seen any reoccurring challenges that people are coming to that they think, cause I know with this and I'm like, I'm speaking to like, I think this is my problem.
Claire: And then you speak to someone that knows you or trust you and, and you can really comment. They're like, actually, this is what you're dealing with and let's tackle that. Are there any common patterns, trends that you're seeing a lot of lately in the last couple of years in your coaching?
Andrea Ivanka: I am. there's a few.
Andrea Ivanka: One is that there are practical things that are happening in the economy and supply chain, things like this. A lot of the entrepreneurs that I work with are small business owners, entrepreneurs in service based industries. So they might be working with contractors, subcontractors, things like this. So there's the ripple effect of economically what we've seen after the world shut down, really.
Andrea Ivanka: [00:25:00] So there's an aspect of needing to adjust expectations, needing to adjust their pricing. How is that communicated to their team? Did they retain their team? Did they have to let go of team? A lot of people had to let go of staff in order to keep the doors of the business open and the ripple effect of that, one of the themes that's coming up from a very practical perspective, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this too, is you've got a lot of entrepreneurs and small business owners that are going, I can't find it.
Andrea Ivanka: Good people now who are willing to do the work
Claire: and
Andrea Ivanka: then you've got other people who want to be employed who want to be working and there's this contrast where they're going. I can't find a good job. I can't find somebody who respects me. And I feel like because of the pandemic there were. Certain things that shifted in how we experienced work, being able to work from home, trying to balance work life, kids being at home.[00:26:00]
Andrea Ivanka: So there's all of these unconscious expectations now of what it should be like that were based on what happened back then, that are not being translated into how things are now that things opened up in the current economic So I find talking about those things is Really, really important when we're looking at how are we setting goals?
Andrea Ivanka: What are the external factors? Right.
Claire: I couldn't agree more. I love, I mean, what you're saying is exactly what I hear and see and experience. Personally speaking from a lot of my lens of the world too, is that we also look at it. A lot of, I laugh because it's resonating with me. A lot of babies were born at that time.
Claire: And like, I'm one of those women, like late to the game, late to everything, was single until the pandemic my whole life. And add the [00:27:00] lens and I'm having this conversation and I know we have a lot of women tuning into this pod as well. He's like a lot of us. Our, have little ones now, and not only have our expectations changed globally from a workplace, our expectations or our boundaries have been tightened.
Claire: We now have non negotiables that before we could let slip, but you add, and this doesn't just go for moms with children, but I think people had a couple of years to build new boundaries and recognize. This is important. This is not important. And so the personalities and how we've developed, people are now saying, I won't go back to this because I experienced another side and I've, I've been transformed in some way.
Claire: And so, unfortunately, a lot of the traditional businesses, they've been running, operating for 30, 40, 50 years. [00:28:00] They don't actually have the infrastructure. they don't know how to pivot. Because it is a lot of work. These businesses have been running and to accommodate like someone wants to work three days from home.
Claire: Well, yeah, because they can, but how does that look for them? And so. I think it's a two way street that now the working individuals, more boundaries and saying I'm willing to do this, but not this. And so it, it does change the game. And I think we'll add another layer, which. I was really trying guys, girls, humans, not to bring up artificial intelligence because everyone knows this is the language of the year.
Claire: It's been around for a while, but. you know, I've had conversations, people are like, I don't have a job now. And We can't be complacent anymore. We have to see the shifts are moving fast. We always have to get ahead and figure out [00:29:00] where things are moving. It's a different world.
Claire: And I think the amount of anxiety has skyrocketed for individuals as a result. So, yeah, I agree with you, Andrea, that we need to have those conversations. And I think it's on each one of us when we know someone, you know, who's Is a great worker is looking for a great job. We keep spreading referrals and we tell people you want to connect with.
Claire: It's connections at the end of the day. I don't care what is happening in the world, right? you are here because there's someone so dear to me that I respect, I didn't even have to know who you were. I was just like, yeah, that's a no brainer. Bring her on. It turns out , you know, you are awesome, but that's the power of community is that more than ever our communities need to come together and figure out how we can support each other.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah. Well, the other piece of that. If we look, those are all the external tangible things, how you're saying, having the conversations. Now, it's managing the internal pieces, whether you're an employee or an entrepreneur, there's a lot of emotions [00:30:00] around this. And most of us were not raised with that. With the emotional intelligence or the training on how to have these conversations if a boundary has been crossed or we've raised our standards now and how does that get communicated to clients?
Andrea Ivanka: How does that get communicated to team? There's nothing wrong with having boundaries and standards. In fact, most of the time, most of us could stand to raise them except now. Here's where it gets interesting. Right? Let's say we're doing something together. You have certain things that are non negotiable.
Andrea Ivanka: I have certain things that are non negotiable. At what point do we go, Okay, where can we come into alignment if we can't come into agreement on 100 percent of everything? What's the big picture that we can both get behind? Right? Like even the timing of the call today, right? We figured that out because the big picture to get into alignment is we're, we're doing this podcast today.
Andrea Ivanka: It is happening today, [00:31:00] right? If we had to be in agreement around 100 percent of everything, When I needed to shift the time where you needed to shift the time, one of us could have gotten into this. Well, this is my boundary and it was in the calendar this time and blah, blah, blah.
Andrea Ivanka: So I think having conversations too, as we are raising boundaries, raising standards is important. Where is it a non negotiable and where can I get behind something because it's still okay with my values, it's not the hill I need to die on in order to create some alignment with the team, with the goals, right?
Andrea Ivanka: And I think that's a really important part of that emotional intelligence and leadership that also needs to be addressed. My opinion, take it with a grain of salt.
Claire: Well, I'm going to echo it because I think for so long, our generation specifically was always the next degree, the next education, the this, this, like just getting another letter to your name.[00:32:00]
Claire: Ironically speaking, there's something else happening. That needs to be the non negotiable now is EI, the emotional intelligence of finding the nuances in life and recognizing, like you said, here are the main pillars in my life and get rid of these. And I think The more we have virtual, the more we have automation, the more tech, all these things, human communication is just be going to become more and more important because we become less and less having the FaceTime.
Claire: So when we do have the FaceTime, we're losing this muscle. We're losing this. And I think it is really amazing that we have. Individuals like you that people can have these conversations like it's very hard to find people like you because that emotional intelligence piece I think is, let's be honest, it's not [00:33:00] trending, right?
Claire: It's not the next thing to jump on. I think it will become over time. Um, and you can feel it but it's a lost art. And I think it's the glue that is bringing all the pieces together is, identifying that. Now let's say everyone listening today, they're thinking, okay, the questions, if I was a listener right now, I'd be like, okay, first, I wonder what my filters that I have put on unintentionally in my life, whether it's, different.
Claire: ideas of money or success or self worth, all these things. I would be thinking, okay, how do I find this in Dig Deeper? I don't have access to Andrea today. Or the second one is, you know, do I have, like, we're talking about, you know, how to be really actionable strategies to stay accountable, to be focused, to be productive.
Claire: And I think we've talked a [00:34:00] lot about is like creating intentions and making sure that, you know, we have these boundaries, but also finding this alignment with people. What are things and strategies That you share with people that we could start working on because I think the more we learn about this stuff, the more we recognize I'm willing to pay someone to help me become better at this because it is the backbone of my success.
Andrea Ivanka: So there's two things that I can, I can give you and your audience access to these for free tools. I use with my clients. One is I call it rapid release process. It's literally what it sounds like rapid release. And it's. When you get an emotional knee jerk reaction to something and you catch yourself like, Is this weird?
Andrea Ivanka: Why did I get so pissed off about that? Or why did I get so frustrated there? It's usually a doorway into Something deeper that's unresolved. So without needing to get into [00:35:00] the deeper transformational work, like rapid core transformation or this kind of stuff, it's a series of questions to kind of help you stop, address the emotions, get yourself to a neutral place, and now shift into what's more important than all of that right now to get you refocused on what you need to do.
Andrea Ivanka: So I'll make sure you get access to that. it's the coolest thing. I have plans that. When they are in the middle of really big things, big life transformations, they're using this like multiple times a day with big emotions. Cause it takes you like five minutes to run through.
Claire: Oh my gosh.
Claire: Do you know why I'm? And it's so funny. I I'm so transparent on this podcast, but my sister, I remember her giving up feedback. I have lots of sisters, so I can just say my sister, she's like, Claire, don't talk about yourself. I'm like, no, I know, I know it's, it's about the interviewee, but I like our conversation today because it's so topical and I'm sharing this with an audience because as we get [00:36:00] older, we notice things that before we would just reject and not know why it's happening.
Claire: But I went out for lunch this week. And I came home and I felt angry and I was like, well, is it because I feel like my house is a mess? Is it because I feel like I wasn't very productive because I should have been working. And I had to sit in my thoughts and be like, I didn't like the energy at the lunch.
Claire: It was negative. And so I'm so excited because. For me, for someone that has done so much of this cognitive therapy, I didn't know how to move through it and come to a resolution to go into something that is, does excite me. And so I think that transition where I'm so aware of it because I spent so much work on this, but even for me, I was like, how do I narrate the scenario and not blame myself for that situation?
Andrea Ivanka: One of the things that I love about it is I use it [00:37:00] all, like, all the time because I'm human too. I hope you don't need it after this call. No, this has been fun. it's a way to get out of the why, why, why, why, if you ever notice, like, why just. Gets you into a hamster wheel of trying to like self analyze and self assess and sometimes that is not very helpful.
Andrea Ivanka: It's more an acknowledgement of here's what I'm feeling and here's what I'm feeling and you know you'll see when I send it to you and whoever else actually wants to go through it. Key thing is I feel. I feel angry, I feel frustrated, I feel, I feel, I feel, not I am because am goes to identity. Right?
Andrea Ivanka: Versus feel is something that is temporary. I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel tired. I feel irritated. I feel whatever I feel. We all know our feelings are transient. At some point, once you have acknowledged everything that you feel, you'll be like, okay, that's it. There's nothing else in there. Like, I've emptied out.
Andrea Ivanka: Once you get to a more neutral place because you've acknowledged everything you were feeling, [00:38:00] now there's a potential to shift to something else because you're not ignoring, you're not suppressing, you're not trying to tell yourself to feel better when you were actually feeling really frustrated and angry.
Andrea Ivanka: Yes. And so it's, it's more how the steps are set up is there's a logical flow but there's also an emotional flow so we're not going down the rabbit hole and actually getting people moving quickly. you
Claire: And it would be cool to have something so research evidence based to follow through because, you know, we always, yeah, like that's cool.
Claire: Now what is it based off of? Because I am a nerd too and I love that, like, is it neurological, psychological studies have, like, I'm so curious where are we trying to get to neutral?
Andrea Ivanka: So part of emotional intelligence, I actually, I have this book here, I have some books propping up my standing desk. Well, it's called The Extended Mind by the Power of Thinking [00:39:00] Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul and fabulous book.
Andrea Ivanka: It's quite dense and you can see lots of I was going to say we'll put it in
Claire: the show notes for our
Andrea Ivanka: audience. Yeah. One of the things that she talks about is paying attention to what is going on in your body. And they did all this research with people who are day traders about why they did better trades than people who didn't.
Andrea Ivanka: And part of it was paying attention to what was happening in their bodies and Literally like naming stuff and their sensations. I was like, I've been doing this kind of stuff with clients for years, like getting them to name stuff. If you know about cognitive behavioral therapy, EDMR, stuff like this, they have the same name it to tame it.
Andrea Ivanka: Right? Yeah. So. . So there's a mix of like research from different backgrounds, different modalities. And then, as you go through the process of, okay, once we've named it, all this stuff, what's more important than that? What's one step I can take?
Andrea Ivanka: Now we're bringing in action based stuff from [00:40:00] coaching processes about how to shift your focus, right? So this is where I say, I like weave in, I took a little piece from here, I took a little piece from there, I experimented on myself. And I took it to clients. I went, test this out. Let's see what happens.
Andrea Ivanka: And then I tweaked it over the years. So this is not like one day I said here, try this process. It might work. It's like, okay. By the time you're seeing this process, I've done it with. Hundreds of people over the last few years. So I love this question of where it came from different places.
Claire: I love this.
Claire: Please anyone that is listening to this, maybe another episode, I will just walk step by step me going through or bringing someone hit. It might be sick of my emotions walking through your step by step because I think this is so incredible of all ages. All ages. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Now, I'm going to ask you, because when are you going to write your book?
Andrea Ivanka: You know what? You're like the fourth person that's asked me that in the last two weeks, [00:41:00] and usually when something like that happens, I'm like, hmm, you know, I
Claire: have a great editor I can introduce you to.
Andrea Ivanka: Yeah. I, I'm starting to feel like there's all these pieces coming together, even for me from behind the scenes of all the work that's been documented with clients.
Andrea Ivanka: How do we actually put these together case studies and bring it in a way that it is. I like this conversation accessible for people and also. I think really relevant to people who are. High achievers who are driven, who are interested in improving themselves, because at the end of the day, some of the things we've talked about, they may have known some of it.
Andrea Ivanka: It's just more, how did we weave it together in a way that maybe they haven't seen before. I
Claire: think that's your superpower is putting it together. In words, putting on paper and then having a strategy to go through that, because I can tell you how many people I have these conversations. They know [00:42:00] it's there, like your friend that talked about her money.
Claire: It was there, but how do you, how is that creating an obstacle in growth?
Andrea Ivanka: And this is the 1 thing I say to entrepreneurs over and over, whether you are somebody service based, whether you've got yourself, whether you've got a team of 100, 1000 employees under you, when you grow yourself, you grow your business.
Andrea Ivanka: There is no getting away from it. There just isn't. And if you can do it consistently. Set aside one day every quarter that is for you for growing yourself. It's not then going to be okay. Once every five years, I go walk on hot coals or break a board or whatever. I'm like, I'm going to wait for the breakdown in order to have the breakthrough or go have some really cool experience.
Andrea Ivanka: Like, no, you're going to consistently keep growing yourself so that these kinds of things of up leveling start to become the norm instead of, you know, you got to wait [00:43:00] for the crazy. Experience in order to have an epiphany. I think we, we need to shift that conversation that it starts to become more normal and normalize that you take that time.
Andrea Ivanka: It is focused time to grow yourself, do the inner transformative work so that you can keep going.
Claire: And our generation, I think more than ever is 100 percent more receptive. It's very, yeah, it's. It's unlike, you know, I know my parents generation, some of the things were so taboo that we would be talking about, but like you said, it's one feeds the other and vice versa.
Claire: And well, guess what I'm going to do after this call, linked in the notes here, I'm calling it your quick transformation. What are we calling it? The release process. I'll make sure you get access to it. Rapid release. Okay. I love this. Great. Um, Andrea, I don't know if you can tell, but I could sit here for hours asking you questions and learning more.
Claire: But I think um, this [00:44:00] episode has just a little teaser. We'll have to get you back on and walk through one of these scenarios. I think it'd be really, really cool. And I think it's so awesome how you bring the three, pillars of someone's life all coming together and, and looking at these different filters that really prevent us from reaching our full potential.
Claire: So thank you for the amazing work you do for us humans. I can tell you, we need it more than ever. So thank you for being today with us. And we would love to have you back in the near future.
Andrea Ivanka: Thank you for having me. I had so much fun with this conversation. It was awesome.
Claire: Thanks, Sandra.